Moving as quickly as we do from one event and group to another, it makes sense that these transitions may not always go smoothly. In music, we talk about being in “tune.” In groups, we may call it being “in sync” with the current trends. In getting “back” to nature, some people say they have to “chill” to separate from our hectic lives. I have even heard some people saying that we need to get on the same “frequency.” Whatever the words, it is a basic coming together at a level that allows for us to relate.

In my training as a therapist, I remember being told the value of “pacing.” It was a process of coming into the session in a way that I could meet the clients where they were. If I wasn’t able to connect right away, I could listen carefully and in so doing, show respect. By hearing and respecting them, I could meet them at that level so we could establish a relationship and work together. Without the connection, progress was not possible.

In approaching a situation filled with conflict, alignment is critical. If we are able to establish a space where people feel a connection is possible, issues are more likely to be resolved. Aligning attitudes, needs, and hopes brings people together so they can reconcile their differences.