One of the more interesting byproducts of the cell phone age is what we see almost daily. Two students are walking together on campus, but neither is talking to the other. Each is focused downward—staring intently into a cell phone. Neither is looking up to greet other students passing on the sidewalk and they only make occasional glances away from their devices to see that they will not stumble off curbs or run into signposts. They are focused on their devices, texting, reading social media, responding to someone miles away or within sight. They might be texting each other, but never look up or talk. They are friends, and we see them participate in activities together outside of class. However, instead of discussing the previous class, future classes or whatever might be important to them, they are laser focused on their devices.
Both lack awareness about the world outside of the internet. We ask them if they noticed the weather, the new sign a sorority put on the lawn outside its house, or if they had seen the squirrels gathering pecans from trees on campus. They have not. Sometimes prying them away from their devices during class is even a challenge. The lack of mindfulness on anything other than their devices means that meals are eaten without tasting, crisp fall air embraces them without them feeling it, and birds in the trees are singing without being heard.
We miss the chatter of students as they walk between buildings. We miss the exchange of shared laughter and even raised voices when students challenge other ideas. We are losing that human contact so essential to conflict resolution. The skill of learning how to “be with” someone is different than the ability to stare at the cell phone. There is a lack of real connection that is only experienced as a silent connection with technology.
As individuals resolving conflicts, we need to approach our craft mindfully, free of the distractions that our devices bring to this most human of interactions. If you are reading this entry as part of your social media consumption, put down the computer or the cell phone and find something in nature or look around for another human being with whom to relate. Connect mindfully, free of distraction. It can even reinvigorate your spirit!
