In understanding our health, the allostatic load is basically, the “wear and tear on the body” when we have been exposed to chronic stress. During the pandemic, we have experienced this concept when people have experienced environmental, physical, social, and emotional stressors for a prolonged period. It can be seen in chronic stress, decreased immune response, increase risk of cardiovascular and other diseases, insomnia, exhaustion, inability to concentrate, and the list goes on. Each of us could probably add additional items to that list.
The allostatic load exists in those seeking mediation as well. People in conflict are often stressed out by the continued tension and the financial, emotional, and social toll it has taken on their lives. The experience of this continued pattern of stress is evident in the intractability of the conflict. Asking the parties to tell their stories, generally brings out anger/rage, hurt/embarrassment, frustration/exhaustion. When conflict has continued without any resolution, the pain only intensifies. As mediators, we need to anticipate the fact they have reached “overload” and instead of avoiding it, help them through it. Feelings amplified by stress are still feelings and need to be worked through together.
Likewise, those of us who are mediators can also be fatigued by our allostatic load. Whether it is pressure from being immersed in conflict every day for months/years or the fact that some of the emotions being expressed by those in mediation continue to remind us of our own issues with conflict or loss. We can get exhausted too. We become burdened by our allostatic load. It can lead to overload and burnout, neither of which facilitate our work in mediation.
Finding a space for our own mindful practice, having a good friend/counselor to process our emotional reactions, or having an outlet that allows us to decompress, are necessary. We need to engage in self-care if we are going to encourage the same for those we serve. We can help others through these stressful situations while we too don’t fall prey to them. First, we need to be aware of the impact long-term stress has on those coming to mediation and on us. Then, we can begin finding ways to develop ways to respond to and work through it. Like with so many things, it requires us to not only look at how to help others in mediation, but also the importance of looking at ourselves.