Currently, many of us do not live in societies that promote humility. Actually, in the western culture, it is quite the opposite. People are taught to promote themselves, to “speak up,” and to be assertive if they want to be heard. Individuals who are humble are often seen as weak, not capable, and not destined for leadership. It is not that way everywhere. In some cultures, we see humility playing a more important role. However, in all environments, humility can be valuable for relationships, for leaders, and most definitely for resolving conflict.

In an online discussion on the topic of humility, Kenneth Cloke pointed to two perspectives. Mary P. Follet’s definition is that “Humility …is merely never claiming any more than belongs to me in any way whatever; it rests on the ability to see clearly what does belong to me. Thus, do we maintain our integrity.” How simple, yet how difficult. Cloke also reflected that C.S. Lewis had another perspective. C.S. Lewis said that “Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.” Unfortunately, it seems easy to dwell on our own needs and wants and maybe even confuse what is ours and what is not. Yet, this process lies at the heart of conflict resolution.

Learning how to recognize what is ours and respecting the integrity of others to have a perspective, facilitates deep discussions. Conflict is a natural result of fear, anxiety, or anger getting manifest in relationships. Humility, which combines a respect for personal and professional boundaries and respect for the other person, can help us provide an amicable resolution. With humility, we show our strength in being able to set aside our egos to work together.