We have all heard it said, “That is what ‘they’ think.” Or maybe we hear, “We don’t believe what ‘they’ believe.” Sometimes it comes across as, “Don’t ever let yourself get close to one of ‘them.’” I’ve heard it just this week and read it on Facebook…from friends who are trying to ‘protect us’ from ‘they/them.’ It stops me cold every time I hear it. What happened to 'us’ in this distorted process?
In communities that sometimes appear increasingly divided, it is easy to begin forgetting our commonality. Politicians and some groups from all sides benefit from our divisions. Still, every time I meet someone and share stories, I am always impressed with our common humanity. Whether we are connecting with people internationally or in diverse communities where we live, we have more in common than what separates us. We all want the best for our families and friends. We love our children. We want to be able to lead productive lives, have a safe place to live, know there is food for our families, and love who we wish. These are simple, common desires with universal meaning and value.
When we focus on differences that divide us, don’t we know better? We were all taught differently growing up. I was and know you were too. There is no religion on earth that teaches hate and if it does, we need to find a new place to worship. Schools teach us to listen, learn, and be kind. Parents echoed those same messages. Our background is filled with messages of relationship, respect, and forgiveness. We may forget at times, but we can also remember.
As mediators, we work to help find peaceful solutions that enable people to move past conflict. Developing peaceful communities that are founded on respect is part of that process.
We enter a new year. I am hopeful to see fewer people referred to as ‘them’ and experience more listening, respecting, and maybe even appreciating the minute differences that characterize all of us in the one human race. I want it to be reflected in my life as well. That is where it has to begin for each of us.
It is a common prayer for peace and love.