On a recent moonless night, I stepped outside into a world of silence. Snowfall and cold temperatures caused people to stay inside, and the only sound was a faint rattling of the few remaining dry leaves in the overhanging branches. The quiet was serene and noticeable. So few times in our modern lives are we immersed in quiet and have the opportunity for our minds to focus. Despite the cold, I lingered, relishing the silence. Opportunities to connect with our true selves are enhanced in such moments of silence
Lao Tzu reminds us that “silence is a source of great strength.” In our work as mediators and trainers, one of the lessons we need to remember is that silence is a valuable tool. Often, if just afforded the space, one of the participants will say just what is needed to move the process forward. The wisdom is in the room and it is not solely the property of the mediator or trainer. It is easy to fill the void and, often the expectation is that the “expert” should "keep it moving." However, filling the void in that way might discourage a participant from suggesting the very idea that allows for transformation in the relationship or a resolution of a conflict. Sometimes, the answer is in the silence.
